When your mother was narcissistic, grief is never simple.

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If you are holding this book, firstly, I'm sorry.

Unless you're a critic, a curious friend, or someone nosily wondering what Justine is writing about, I'm going to assume something more personal: that you are the adult child of a narcissistic mother. And she's recently died or she will soon. Or maybe she died a long time ago and you're only just starting to process it now, because that's how grief can work when it's complicated.

Very few people pick up a book like this casually. You're likely confused, you might be angry (and you may well feel ashamed of how angry you are). You may find yourself grieving someone who hurt you deeply whilst also missing them so badly it takes your breath away.

You might be second-guessing every feeling. You might be stuck in old patterns with the people who are still here. You might struggle with control - through food, alcohol, perfectionism. Your self-esteem might be low. Your inner voice might be cruel. And still, you may feel enormous bewildering love for the mother who raised you.

If this is you: I see you. I hear you. In may ways, I am you.

• You're grieving someone who also caused you pain, whether they have died or not.
• You feel anger, guilt, relief - or all three - and don't know what to do with it.
• You've been told to Move on or Be grateful or But she's your Mum.
• You second-guess your emotions because your reality was denied or minimised.
• You're trying to heal without turning into the person who hurt you.
• You want language for the feelings you were never allowed to name.

"Knowing it's not just me, I'm not on my own and that's it's not my fault, has been incredibly reassuring."

"Clear, compassionate and full of wisdom. It feels like a conversation with someone who has been there and understands."

"This spoke straight to my heart. Painful truths, but written with so much compassion and clarity."